Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Mama,

The other day when we were out riding, David was on his four wheeler just in front of us.  He had his shirt off, of course.  That's his big thing right, going shirtless while he rides and when he sleeps and when he's just around the house.  He thinks he's so big, you know.  Funny thing is I can remember that Trey and Todd spent a lot of time shirtless when they were teenagers.  I guess it's just a teenage boy thing.

Anyway... so David is in front of us, and I can see every little vertebra in his back, arched beautifully and in perfect symmetry.  And my mind went back to the day of my ultrasound when he had been in my belly for just 20 weeks.  I remember how the lady showed us his spine, and she said, "Look at that beautiful little spine.  It's just perfect."  I didn't understand then how special it really is to have a beautiful, perfect spine in your womb, but now I do.  And how special it is to have it growing so perfectly.  He wants to be taller, of course, but he doesn't realize how just-right he is.  He's on the brink of something that will alter him forever, turn him from boy to man, shift him from carefree into a barrel of conflicting energy.  Oh I wish they could stay little forever, but I'm afraid that is not to be.  It just doesn't work that way.

Oh and he is paranoid about his teeth, how they are discolored.  Even googled to find ways to whiten the teeth at home, and he came to me showing me a "recipe" for home whitening he found: lemon juice and baking soda, mixed.  I am not, however, putting lemon juice and baking soda on my little boy's teeth, I told him.  His go-to answer these days is reminiscent to the toddler years, WHY?  So we talked to the dentist about it, and unfortunately the discoloration of his teeth is just a result of how they formed, probably from having too much fluoride, and there's not a lot that can be done about it.  He is disappointed, but I explained to him that there will be many little things he will want to change about himself along the way (MANY things!), but he has to learn to accept himself the way he is.

I just never dreamed I'd be having a conversation with my thirteen year old son about teeth whitening.  This world we live in.  It's so crazy.  Everybody seems perfect all the time, and it's so unrealistic.  And I have to battle it with my son and daughter.  But I will keep battling.  I won't give in to the concept that we should look perfect all the time.

I wish you were here so we could talk it over a bit.  I know you would agree with how I am handling things, but it would be so nice to hear you say it.

Miss you more and more each day.

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