I heard their voices at 5:50 in the AM. Three boys, not so small anymore, make a tremendous amount of noise with nothing but their voices. David had impromptu spend the night company last night, but I was certainly not prepared for loud boys to wake me up at 5:50.
I tossed and turned for a little while, and then my ears adjusted to the noise and drowned it out, and I managed to doze off into that state of sleep that slips away as easily as it comes.
And then she came to me.
It was just she and I in our old house in Montgomery. I had moved back home, though I am not sure why, and we talked about how I needed to find a job. She suggested I go talk to my old boss at the coffee shop where I used to work. We were in the kitchen making sausage pie. She seemed so much like her that it felt so completely real and natural, just as life used to be. And then Madalyn was there. she ran in the kitchen for some reason and ran back out, and my mother said, "She wants to be called Madabug now." And then she turned to me and repeated the weird name mimicking the way Madalyn would have said it if it were all real. Madabug. And we laughed like we would really do. And I filled two pie crusts with the filling for the breakfast dish she once taught me how to make in that very kitchen. And then the voices won out again, putting an end to the visit I shared with her in the vague space of my dreams.
Oh how I wish she could come more often.