Monday, December 31, 2012

2012...

I started to write a totally different post, one in which detailed all the crappy things that happened in the year 2012.  It would have been quite lengthy, I assure you.  But as I began to type, I thought to myself, "This is really not beneficial..."

So, instead, I will write about the blessings 2012 brought me.  And as I stop to think about them, there were many blessings buried in the midst of the bad.

God blessed us immensely through Scott's new job.  When he decided to make the change from the car business to the camper world, we were very uncertain how things would turn out.  It was a risk worth taking, however.  The change has been a huge blessing for our family.  Scott is only minutes away from home when he is at work.  He was able to help me out with the kids when my mother was so sick.  He is working less hours and making good money.  I am amazed at how God provided this place for Scott at just the right time in our lives.  God is good.

I have been blessed by new relationships in my life this year.  But not by way of new people.  Losing my mom is the single worst thing that has ever happened to me, but through this loss, I have learned new things about people who were already in my life.  I see a whole new side of my husband in his patience with me as I grieve.  I have seen this amazing side to my Madalyn that is so tender and philosophical and precious.  It has completely changed my relationship with her, and I am so thankful.  But the relationship which has changed the most this year is that of my father and I.  We are close in a way we have never been before, relying more on one another than I ever dreamed possible.  And that is such a dear blessing to my heart.

I have also experienced many little blessings this year, far too many to count, in which some of my sisters in Christ have ministered to my soul in ways I never dreamed possible.  Prayers.  Cards.  Texts.  Facebook messages and emails.  Little gifts in the mail.  I stop and think about the many ways in which God has moved through so many of His beautiful vessels to remind me that He cares for me, and it leaves me speechless.  Thank you to each and every one of you... you know who you are.

Perhaps one of the biggest blessings I gained this year was a deeper more authentic connection with my Savior.  I am still not finished working on myself, or, rather, He is not finished working on me.  I have a multitude of imperfections.  But I have such a stronger connection to who He is and who He wants to be in my life and a deeper understanding of the Peace only He can offer.  And I will be eternally grateful for the ways in which He has blessed me, comforted me, loved me, held my heart together during this most difficult year.  He is the only thing that keeps me moving forward... I am nothing without Jesus, and this year has taught me that.

Saying goodbye to this year is difficult, but starting fresh is promising.  Taking what I have gained in the midst of my deep loss will sustain me for many years to come.

Blessings to all my friends in the year to come!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

What a beautiful year-end "wrap-up". I'm so glad that you are taking the perspective of focusing on what you've gained, even in the midst of great loss and change. Happy new year!