Monday, October 15, 2012

Message...

I am so thankful for the message she left me....

We had almost lost her.  I will never forget the agony I felt when my brother called me to tell me that my mother had collapsed and had some markers that she may have suffered a stroke.  None of us knew what to think.  We knew that things had been a little off, and she had appointment set up to do a scan of her brain.  But nothing could have prepared us for the journey that brain tumor would take her on.

She went to the ER, and by the time I got there, it was clear to me that she wouldn't be walking out of that hospital.  This was serious.  A couple of days later, a surgeon opened up her skull and removed what he described as a baseball sized tumor from the base of her brain.  There was no way to know what kind of long term damage there was to her brain until time went by and the swelling went down.  My mom recuperated in the hospital for several days and was moved to a rehab facility to do the physical rehabilitation necessary for her to go back home and care for herself.

There were moments before and after my mother's brain surgery that I thought, "She's gone... she will never be the same."  But she proved me wrong.

A day or two after she was moved to rehab, I was talking on the phone with my dad discussing how she was doing and reacting to the rehab.  I saw that someone was calling in on my cell phone, but it was a number I didn't recognize, so I let the voicemail get it.  When I got off the phone with my dad, I checked the message, and to my surprise, it was my mother.

I still haven't erased it.

I am so thankful that I still have that message.

Every so often, when I check my voicemail, the system plays me the message and asks me if I want to save it again.  I say yes every time.

This morning, I went through that routine for the third time since her death.  I wonder how long I will save it?

I am so thankful to still hear her voice though it sounds a little different than she normally sounded.  I am thankful to hear her say, "I love you," one more time.

1 comment:

Erika Kaplan said...

Did not expect to cry this morning. Maybe there's someway you can save it permantly, on a computer or something. Love you!