Thursday, January 5, 2012

Here we go...

And just like that, it's 2012.  Seems like just yesterday I was all glittered up in a bar {yes, I was in a bar... only being honest} wondering if everything would really shut down and stop working when the clock struck midnight and the year ticked up to 2000.  Nothing stopped.  The power stayed on, and the music still blared.  Life moves forward.  Thankfully, I don't go to bars anymore.  Too loud and smoky and not my thing these days.  I digress.

Beginning a new year can be challenging.  Well, for me, anyway.  I have all these ideas and resolves in my mind and soul, yet I feel the same.  It may be a new year, but I am not a new me.  I still carry into January all the same hang-ups and shortcomings that I had in December.  One passage I'd like to focus more on this year and every year of my life hereafter is found in one of my favorite books of the Bible, Lamentations.

Because of the LORD's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."  {Lam. 3:22-24}

And then look at this other thought in 2 Peter 3:8-9 after the author discusses how we as Christians should turn from our sinful ways after we turn to Jesus.

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.  The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 

I'd like to think, and by no other authority than just my own opinion about what I have read, that God sees the slow evolution of my soul.  He can see me in terms of a literal timeline.  He knows the day I was born, the circumstance, the intelligence I was given, my soul, ever little intimate detail (even those I have never whispered aloud).  He is the only One who knows me better than I know myself.  He wants me to know Him.  He wants me to make decision based off His voice inside my soul, but He will work with what I choose.  He called me a long time ago, and I heard, and He has claimed me and sealed me as His.  Even when I screw up big time, He loves me back.  It's a beautiful relationship that I will never deserve.  And I want this year in my life to live more intentionally to honor Him.  Just saying that makes me nervous, because, if I am honest, as I love to be here when I write, I have never thought I was worthy of honoring God.  Or, maybe once long, long, long ago I thought it possible, but mistakes and circumstances in my life made me believe there was no way for me to glorify God in my life.  But I am finally in a place where I feel like I can start making little decisions that honor Him, that make Him smile.  I know exactly what some of these things are, but you won't seem them outlined here.  It's between me and Him.

I have other resolves this year other than being more intentional for God.  Most of them are incredibly superficial and all about me.  Like being better organized, painting my master bath, and cleaning out my kitchen cabinets.  One will blend together the spiritual and the physical and I really set out to drop 20 pounds.  These extra pounds started with ten and have bounced up and down and all around.  I am learning that I not only need to be more intentional about living for God, but I also need to be more intentional about my own health.  Truth is, carrying 20 extra pounds around my middle in definitely not heavy.  Being sedentary is not healthy.  My food choices don't tend to be healthy.  So those are all things I need to address.  I will be participating in the Made to Crave online Bible study at Melissa Taylor's website.  Follow the link to learn more.  I am anxious to dive into the book especially after reading the first couple of chapters.

I am really looking forward to this year.  Anxious about what God has in store for me, what He wants me to learn, what He will do to pull me closer to Him.  Some things will hurt.  Some will be exciting.  Some will be challenging.  But all of them will work for the good in my life.  Of that I'm sure {Romans 8:28}.

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