Seems lately, there's a lot of easing necessary. The world is tough right now. So much tragedy around me, literally. So much loss and damage and heart break. And then there's days like yesterday that totally drain the energy from my body. Going into that home that has been so full of life as long as I can remember and seeing everything strewn about and not hearing my grandparents' voices or the Braves game on the TV... well, it's just weird. And then working side by side with my mom, listening to her labored breathing, and knowing what's behind it... well, it wears me out emotionally.
To be honest, I feel weary right now. A little beyond tired and on into weary. I'd like to check out for a day or two, lie on the beach in pretty perfect beams of sunshine, with no one in sight. Doesn't that sound lovely? It also sounds impossible. So, instead, I perused the other Siesta's verses for the next two weeks. Funny how the very first one was the perfect verse for me right now.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2-3
Hmmmm. Testing of faith. Wonder if that's applicable to my life right now???? Ya think????
I think any time you have an issue in your life that is utterly beyond your control, it calls your faith into question. Mine has certainly been tested over the last year and a half. The test continues every day. But one thing I have decided in my heart is that whatever is going on in this crazy mixed up world, I will not allow it to pull me away from God. In fact, I want it to do right the opposite... I want it to draw me nearer to Him, to His love, to His Word. So, here I am, in the midst of a memory challenge, not exactly memorizing, but drawing nearer to His Word all the same.
And I guess I'll just keep on moving forward. I know He knows how weary I am at times. I know He knows all the reasons why. I know He looks at me and knows the outcome of any situation that weighs on my heart. I'd like to imagine Him looking down at me and whispering, "Just trust me... just know that I am here, where I've always been and will continue to be. Lean on me. I can handle the load." I can hear it, but boy is it hard to follow through on sometimes.