Monday, May 2, 2011

I'm late...

My husband would say that I am always running late. I think my son spoke more accurately the other day when he said, "Mama... you aren't really late all that much... you are usually right on time."

That's me. Right on time. Not a second to spare. Not early; not late. As of late, I feel a day late and a dollar (or several hundred dollars) short. I am tired. I am rushing here and there, piddling with this an that, balancing one thing on top of the other, and falling incredibly short. I mop the floors only for Madalyn to drop a plate of syrup covered pancakes leaving behind a sticky mess. I cut the grass only to find in two days time it already needs cutting again. I don't think I am the only woman or person in the world feeling this right now. It's the plight of most every 30-something.

I'm two days late in picking a verse for the Memory Challenge, that in all honesty, for me, has turned more into a focus challenge. Even though I can't claim to have memorized them all just perfect, and I certainly won't be making the conference in which you are required to recite a set number of your verses, at the very least, I am focusing on certain scriptures over a set amount of time. The focus on the Word has been helpful in all areas of my life.

Just now, I sat down in my favorite chair to pick out a verse feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and saddened. The events in the southeast over the last week have been difficult to absorb. The discovery last night that Osama Bin Laden is no more is nothing more bittersweet to me. And the continuing battle with this economy forges on in our household. I am emotionally worn out. So I opened my Bible up to a spot that I had tucked an envelope with a note to myself scribbled across the front and read what was highlighted on that page.

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4

I've blogged about this passage before. I love the phrase divine retribution. I can't tell you the Hebrew or Greek words that have been translated to our English language, nor can I tell you what they meant in the ancient tongue. I can only say what it means to me and how the words speak to my heart as I read them this morning. God fights for me and you and those to come. He fights with the evil forces of this world with swords that can't be broken or overcome. He fights with grace and love and forgiveness. His ultimate tool of retribution is Jesus. The victory has already been won. We just have to play out this battle on earth.

It's hard. It's increasingly difficult not to be overwhelmed by so many things here on earth. There are some days that I don't think I can be hopeful in this world anymore. My spirit grows weary. But, to me, I find a certain amount of comfort in simply knowing that God sees. He sees how so many in my state are suffering right now. He sees it, and though He doesn't choose to sweep down and wipe it all away, He knows that His love is in enough hearts to carry out the work for Him. He is certain of it, and He enables things to take place that otherwise wouldn't be possible. And I am trying to remind myself of this... that He sees all things, knows all things, and facilitates divine retribution for the evil that occurs on His people.

And so, I try to move on and do my part in my little corner of the world knowing that one day the exhausting battle of living in the world without allowing the world to consume me will be done.


Victoria said...

Amen sister...Amen.

Kristin said...

Wow, are we on the same page right now. I've found myself, well, simply longing for Home. We aren't made for this place, and at times it really gets to me. This is one of those times. Thank you for sharing.