Monday, April 18, 2011

Delight...

As I have talked about several times before, I have been participating in the Siesta Scripture Memory Challenge this year. At this point in the challenge, I am eight verses deep, and I am finding that the most difficult part of each passage to remember is the actual chapter and verse. I am also realizing that lying in bed and reciting all the passages in my mind in order is getting near impossible. But I am still trucking forward. I may not have them verbatim in my little crazy mind, but the gist of it is there, and my heart grasps the meaning, and that's the most important part.

The past month has immensely different than the average month for me. If you had asked me three months ago what I'd be focusing on right now, I would have answered that I'd have a complete manuscript of my first novel under my belt, be planning a trip to the She Speaks Conference in July (to take the writing track, of course), my laundry would be caught up and my toilets would be clean. Not so much...

It's not that I have quit writing, but I have changed my focus. It's not that I don't feel called to write the story spinning in my mind, but I have felt a stronger tug in another direction. The glory of penning fiction is that the characters and their stories don't go anywhere; they are ever alive in my mind, growing richer with time, just like real people. There is time ahead to write the story, and there must be a reason for the shift in life direction at this point. I had often felt when writing my novel, one based on Spiritual journey, that I was learning alongside my main character. Maybe I need to be more ahead of her to finish her tale. And so I wait patiently on the time to complete her story.

If you had told me that I'd be spending the bulk of my time making jewelry, I would have laughed. This is nothing I would have ever set out to do. For as much joy as it has brought me, there have also been difficulties and hurdles. Working from home has proven to be way more difficult to maneuver than I ever dreamed. I have a family who is used to things being a certain way ~ clean clothes in the drawers, snacks in the pantry, life not necessarily perfect but usually in order. The order around here has been replaced with an even more forgetful mama and toilets not quite up to my usual standards. Even though this has brought more stress to my day-to-day, the happiness creating things with my hands has brought me is unexplainable.

This journey so far has made me realize that though we {humans} might plan things out and have a general vision for our future, sometimes things sort of drop down in front of us that alter the course. I found this verse in the Psalms last week while searching for something totally unrelated to my memory challenge. Though I had heard it a multitude of times before, it didn't root in my heart until that day. Immediately I knew it would be my next verse.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

The other times I had read the scripture, I just kept thinking, "How in the world can I anticipate God to give me the desires of my heart?" Raised a gracious Southern girl, I learned at an early age that it wasn't appropriate to desire much of anything. Desire too much money and you're called greedy. Too much food makes you a glutton (and probably a little chubby, too). Too much alcohol and you've got a host of other issues. Desire someone else's shoes and it's coveting. The word desire, to me, has always had a negative connotation, meaning more a longing for something of the world not of the spiritual realm. So I never could reconcile the how God would want to fulfill my desires.

Until last week. I was totally jumping ahead to the last part of the verse, getting hung up on the thought of the reward, not the responsibility attached. I finally heard the delight part...

If I am living in a state in which I want to follow the Lord, He and I will be on the same page with the same agenda in mind. I will gain join joy by completing His divine task for me, and He will rejoice in my success. His desires will be my desires. Divine desires. Not earthly, gluttonly, lustful desires, but heavenly, Godly, goodly desires.

I had a David moment when I finally got it... imagine me trying to explain a very simple concept to my nine year old son, and after about ten minutes of frustration, a light bulb goes off, and he says, "Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh......" {the OH has about 27 syllables ~ I love the South}

So, there you have it. Verse #8. Delight = desires. And I definitely desire to delight my Creator.

1 comment:

Victoria said...

I love that verse and I love your insightful take on it!
Thanks for sharing!

And I'm right there with you on the memorization. It's a little more difficult now, having to remember 8 of them!!!