Friday, March 18, 2011

Ready to Run

Today is just one of those days when I'd like to throw my hands up and tell the kids, "You know what... help yourself to the contents of the fridge and pantry, and tell your Daddy I may or may not be back in a few days! See ya!" But, of course, I wouldn't allow myself to act upon the thought. But the thought is still there. How I am just tired of this place and these kids. How I'd like to fly solo for a day. How I'd love to smush some body's head in with my bare hands (and I am not even pre-menstrual right now, y'all!).

Yesterday, I dug through five large boxes of old cell phones and chargers counting, checking for batteries, and taking note of what kind of shape they were in. My son's baseball team is collecting old phones to send in for recycling to raise money for our tournament fees ~ in other words, the parents are pulling the work on yet another fundraiser. I was up to my elbows in cell phones laden with other people's germs and lots of dust. Good times. But we are 128 phones in the positive which promises to be profitable for the team.

Then, I spent a little over an hour in the car driving my fantastic son to meet his cousin to spend the night, only to turn around this morning at 9:30 and make the same drive so he could be back in time for his 10:30 practice that was sprung on us at the last minute.

My head is killing me. Too much Sudafed, apparently too little water, and my sinuses are still rivaling against me.

After practice, we get literally yards from the house, my head is pounding, and Madalyn screeches, "MY HAMPSTER!!! I LEFT MY HAMPSTER!!!!" She had left her little zhu-zhu pet on top of one of the tables at the ball field, and she was in complete freak out mode. I told her to relax, that I'd turn around and we'd go get it. I hear an immediate heavy sigh from David.

"What is wrong with you, David?"
"I don't wanna go back." Turns his mouth up in this pout that he has perfected in nine years.
"Well, I don't either, but I am trying to be nice by going back to find her toy she left."
Another heavy sigh complete with the other look he has mastered... this pre-pubescent I am so completely over you look that I'd like to smack right off his little precious freckled face. If the law allowed me to, that is.
"Are you serious, David? Are you serious right now??? If you give me attitude one more time on the way home, I am putting you out on the side of the road and you can just walk the rest of the way home."

No... to answer your question, David is NOT somewhere on the side of the road sweating and thumbing a ride right now. Instead of giving me attitude, he burst into tears. Is almost ten too young to be hormonally imbalanced? I mean, he has emotional outbursts equivalent to a 15 year old girl.

It's never enough. I never do the right thing. If I am pleasing one, the other is in a tizzy with me. They are never both in a good mood at the same time. And did I mention that it feels like the devil himself is squeezing the blood vessels inside my brain with his hot little fingers? Cause it does. And I am not certain I am thinking rationally right now because of it.

I think I speak for all moms out there when I say that we just all need a break from time to time. Right now, I need a break from a 9 year old attitude. Or perhaps I would just like to see a little gratitude from him and that would make things feel a wee bit better. Or perhaps I need those three ibuprofen I just took to kick in and knock the edge off this head ache before I hurt someone. Or run away.

Scott... if I'm not home when you get home, don't come looking... oh, honey, you know I'm only kidding! Sort of...


Erika said...

I had a mini breakdown Sunday morning at mom's. I felt really light headed and Peyton wouldn't let up and then he accidentally hit me in the eye with a pillow and that was it. I just cried. And then Peyton sat nicely beside me and rubbed my head. Maybe a good cry on your behalf would get some sympathy?

carrie said...

I know we all have those days because we are pleasers. As moms, we work so hard to make everything work. I am with Erika, maybe a good cry would get some attention or a little "I am going to treat you all the way you treat me" attitude! Praying for you!

Victoria said...

I know how you feel! Those days are no fun, but I love how you are recording exactly how you feel, and using some humor too. Because, the worst is never the worst.
Hope your headache goes away soon and that you have a great weekend.
Saying a prayer for you (and your family)... :)