Monday, March 21, 2011

Focus

I am a little (self-diagnosed) ADD. Well, maybe a lot. Oooooohhh... did you see that bird that just flew by? How pretty. Oh, I was saying...

I get distracted quite easily. Like in all areas of life. On Saturday, I thought to myself, "Hey... I'll take the big potted plants back outside and out of the garage. My husband will be sooooo impressed that I did that..." I got started moving them out, bruised tailbone and all, and even cleared out the dead foliage, cleaning out the leaves that had collected at the base of the palms, and cutting away stalks that were missing their pretty leaves. I think I got three of the six pots out onto the driveway and into the sun's rays when I lost track. Something else grabbed my attention; I don't even remember what. Probably a child. Most likely a child needing food or drink or hug to make a boo-boo better. An hour later, I walked back into the garage to find the three remaining plants still in the shade and hurried to finish the task before the hubs got home from work.

I've been thinking a lot about my verse this past week. About seeking His kingdom and His righteousness. About how in my pursuit of those things, I am so easily distracted ~ by disappointments of this world, by temptations and worries, by fear. I am reminding myself today to keep my focus on Him. Not on a friend that didn't turn out to be who I wished they were, not on the stack of bills that never seems any shorter, not on the whining six year old who won't give me a minute's peace. Focus in on His kingdom... how can I advance it, even if it's just under my roof? His righteousness... how can I strive to be more like who He wants me to be? What do I need to cling to, what should I break away from, and what are the things that are keeping my attention away from God?

The past year has been full of earthly disappointments. People have let me down. My faith has continually been tested through dealing with my mother's illness. The economy continues to be a swinging pendulum of inconsistency. I have wasted countless hours in fret over all these issues and more. About the people in my circle... about the spots on my mom's liver... about the mortgage and our reducing property value... about the rising price of coffee and gas... about all the things that I can't control or do anything about. These worries and disappointments become a hindrance in my quest for the Lord, and I have to find a way to stop that cycle.

If I remain in a state of seeking God's kingdom, righteousness, and {dare I add in} will for my life, then the earthly disappointments won't stop me from my forward movement. Maybe I'll turn my head or make mention of them or mourn their existence, but they shouldn't steal my attention away from my ultimate focus.

I want to focus more on honoring God, which, I will painfully admit, I fall short of quite regularly. Just because I am able to string a few words together eloquently at times doesn't mean that in most circumstances in life that I honor my Creator. In fact, I feel like I don't represent what's in my heart enough in the face to face moments. It's easier for me to be transparent and honest and forthcoming here in the blogoshpere than to the people I come in contact with regularly. I find that many situations present themselves in which I could challenge someone to think more about who God would want them to be, but I allow my own shortcomings to prevent me from doing so. Yet another distraction. It's a vicious cycle.

I think the moral of this post, for me, is that I need to focus more on focusing on God and less on the distractions of this world.

Focus.

Maybe I need glasses. But I guess that's where Jesus comes in handy, right?

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