Saturday, January 22, 2011

On My Mind...

I've had some things on my mind lately, tossing over and over with the normal feelings and events of the day. Through the blogging world, I heard of this woman, a beautiful young mother and published Christian author who suffered a stroke almost two weeks ago and now lies in a hospital bed, her family at her side, waiting on her eyes to open once again. No one knows the extent of the damage to her brain or the condition she will be in when she wakes up.

I've been keeping up with her story via her blog, The Simple Wife. Her husband has been blogging in her place to keep her followers informed of her status. This morning, I clicked on her site and the post yesterday was written by her 12 year old daughter. I was speechless.

Here's what's been running through my mind lately... if I fall to the ground tomorrow, have I given my kids enough? Have I shown them the right ways? The most genuine love? Have I shown them God? The mercy and grace of Jesus Christ? If I were rendered unable to speak or type of communicate ever again, am I satisfied with the legacy I would leave behind? Sad to say, I am not.

Seems like there's been a flood of situations lately... a young woman I went to high school with is just beginning a battle with liver cancer, a young mother in my community dropped dead a few weeks ago leaving behind a 4th grader and kindergartner (same age as my kids), and a father just died unexpectedly and, as of yet, unexplained in our little community earlier this week. We all know that we aren't promised tomorrow, but how many of us stop to think about what would be left behind if the promise really runs out for us? Sounds a little morbid, but these different situations have got me thinking about myself, my daily walk, the example I set for my children, and for the efforts I put forth to bring my children close to God.

I am not satisfied.

The gravest responsibility I've been given on this earth is my children. God planted them in my womb, gave me the courage to get them out, calmed my fears when I felt like I had no clue what I was doing, and continues to wash over me the wisdom and patience and love I need to make it through each day. They came to me helpless and without knowledge, and it's my duty to write things on their heart that will carry through their life as they make decisions and deal with life's situations. Sure I teach them love and kindness and humbly attempt to show them patience (my biggest struggle as a mother), but I haven't given them enough Jesus. Not enough. Not nearly enough. If my voice were silenced tomorrow, they haven't heard enough about Jesus from my mouth. It hasn't been enough.

Amazing how God works through the stories of others to convict my heart that I need to be a better example and witness of Christ in my own home. Well, it's just amazing how God works period. And if you'd like to join me in prayer for Joanne and her family as they deal with the aftermath of her stroke, you can follow her story here.


carrie said...

I think about this kind of thing often since the passing of my friend. I think it is one of the scariest things about being a mom. I pray often that I show God's love to my boys. Sometimes it is so hard when we have 500 other things we are responsible for.

Erika said...

I know I am guilty of this myself. I think as long as I take them to church they are getting something, but here lately, I haven't even been doing that. I definitely need to step up my game.

Melanie said...

Love your mama's heart. I have 16 and 11 year old boys - tears, prayers, and laughter! is what I'm doing at the age.

You are a great writer! REally, I can promis you I don't say that to everyone! Have you ever thought about going to the Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks conference?

Also, I have something else to ask you, so email me at - and remind me I asked you to email - that is, if you want to.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!