Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My secret place...

There's this magnificent place I can visit any time I wish. The people draw me in and beckon me to stay. The sights, sounds, and smells are real to me. I control the weather, the events, and what each person says. My own little place... my own little world.

It's a blessing and a curse, really. When I'm there and in the middle of it all, it's such a blessing. I can feel all these emotions and work issues out between people and create any situation I want to create. But when it's time to go - when it's time to reenter the real world... well, that's when this place becomes a curse. How do you just flip the switch and go back to reality as a writer? How do you leave these people you know and love so dearly and tend to the ones in front of you? I feel a strange obligation to my characters to work things out for them, to see them through to the other side. And it's a huge responsibility, though nothing comes close to the duty I have to the living, breathing bodies in my home.

I've finally reached a point in my plot line where my main character is making the turn... and I can't wait to see where she's going. It seems insane to me that I am the only person in the world that knows Lilly, my main character, yet I have no idea what's going to happen in the next chapter. I have general ideas, but when I sit down to write, something just spills onto the keys. It's a truly fantastic, beautiful, pure experience. Something I wish all people on the earth could experience. I am so excited about it, I find myself wanting to talk to others about it. And that's where I have to remind myself that this place I have created is not real. It's make-believe. It's fiction. But I am so closely wound and intertwined with the fantastical right now that where it begins and ends has become blurred. There's no black and white line separating the two. Only a thought. And the thoughts are constant.

I can't wait to finish the story. I can't wait to share the story with others. And I thank and praise my Creator for giving me this opportunity to put it all on paper... it's been an amazingly spiritual experience so far, and I'm not finished yet...

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