Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Words cannot describe...

I have never experienced anything like last night... never.

Late yesterday afternoon, Scott washed both the cars in the driveway as the kids played with a neighbor and I ran to the store and prepared dinner. We left the garage doors open as we enjoyed our family dinner in the back yard by the pool. The weather has been beyond perfect, and we try to eat out back at the table as often as possible. After dinner, I took the kids inside for homework and baths while Scott cleaned up all his car-washing stuff.

After the end of the evening festivities were complete, we sat down in the basement to watch a little TV. We were watching Billy the Exterminator which I had heard a lot about but never watched. It was fascinating, but the more I watched the more itchy and scratchy I became. I felt like I had bugs all over me. We put the kids to bed at their normal hour and continued watching. Scott and I kept noticing a mosquito here and there... they were biting Scott a lot more than they were me, but we were both equally aggravated and perplexed. Why were all these mosquitoes in the house? Scott killed close to ten in the bathroom, den, and garage downstairs. It was annoying, to say the least, but we thought, "Hey - it's time to go to bed. No big deal. Hopefully they will die off overnight..."

No such luck. We went to bed and the real siege against the Maw and Paw Blair began...

They were everywhere. One at a time, as though the plan was carefully constructed, they would fly down and buzz around either mine or Scott's face, land on whatever skin was available, and attempt to suck the ever-loving life out of us. Of course, it was pitch black, and we really couldn't see the little pests, but we could hear them and feel them. I can't say for sure how many mosquitoes were in the room. At times, it felt like there were hundreds. In reality, it was probably between six and ten. But it was like they were messing with us. We'd swat one away, close our eyes and be nearly ready to drift off to sleep, and then the buzzing would start again.

I had the covers pulled up around my face in hopes that would keep them off my skin and the buzzing out of my ears. Every minute or so, I heard poor Scott smack the heck out of his face or neck. I don't know if he ever killed one... probably not. At one point, he even went outside and retrieved the can of Off and sprayed his exposed areas. I refused the spray because I didn't want to smell it all night, and because I had just put fresh sheets on the bed and really didn't want to feel the need to change them again the following day. At times, it was borderline humorous. But as the onslaught continued, we moved further and further away from the border of humor and closer and closer to the edge of insanity.

Around 2:00 a.m., we finally decided to move. Scott went to the basement and put the ceiling fan on high and had a free-standing fan blowing directly on him. I moved to the couch upstairs, and I think I got about 30 minutes of solid sleep before they found me again. I killed four of them while on the sofa, and I really can't tell you what time I was able to get to sleep. It was awful... worse than any night I have ever had before. Worse than the night I had to call my mom at 2 in the morning when David was just a few days old and I couldn't get him to stop crying. Worse than the night I couldn't get my fever to break for several hours and thought I was going to die. It was one of those bad times when you stop in the middle of it all - silence and black all around you - and think to yourself, "Am I losing it????? Is this really happening, or am I dreaming it???" And then you hear the Lilliputian sized Kamikaze flight noise coming in again....

I have killed two this morning already. And, I'll admit, I called them absolutely wretched names while doing so. No - I am not proud of my choice in vocabulary, but they deserved much worse than a few choice words and death by the smack of the hand. If there was a way in which to torture the mosquito, I would take great delight in administering it. And if they show back up tonight, I might be on the next bus headed straight to the crazy farm...

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

Oh no!
Recently I was on an antibiotic, that apparently one of the side effects was insomnia. I can completely understand the feeling of going crazy in the middle of the night. I do know now that a cop car patrols our neiborhood at about 3 AM.

Erika said...

That is so weird. I wonder how they were getting in and it's strange that they were out so bad with the weather cooling off. At least it wasn't Birds poking your eyes out. ha