My heart and lungs are beginning to like running a little more. However, my legs are not. Today I felt like I needed to pull them up with my hands to make them run. Like I had concrete shoes on. Like a 92 year old woman shuffling through Walmart. But I did it - week 4 of the Coach to 5K program. At least I don't feel like I am dying of a heart attack anymore. I'll try to think of the positives.
I ate way too much incredible tasting but awful for you food over the past 72 hours. Yesterday, a friend of ours brought donuts. Yes, donuts. I haven't had a donut in life 45 forevers, so I ate two. I wished that I hadn't eaten any at all because now I will be dreaming of donuts for the next three weeks. My mouth is watering as I type. The best was the blueberry donut with glaze.
Perhaps my awful eating habits contributed to my lackluster feeling on the treadmill today. I am sure it did not help. Need to do better this week.
I am in a terrible mood here lately. My attitude sucks. I hate using that word - sucks - but it's really the only appropriate word I can find to describe my attitude right now. The attitude is about life in general. No one person or area of life in particular, and none excluded either. Doesn't make for fun times around the Blair Casa, if you know what I mean. And for that, I'd like to make the most public apology to my husband who has suffered the brunt of it over the past few days. I am sorry, dear. But just think of how much worse things would have been had I not enjoyed those donuts yesterday... :)
In reference to the above random thought, I feel attacked right now. I feel Satan's breath down my back. I have to say that this is probably the first time in my life I've ever felt this way. I think he'd rather me have a terrible attitude and be down on myself and things in my life than to use my energy to complete some works I've begun. I think he senses I am on the verge of a breakthrough via the main character in my book-in-progress. I think he realizes I am more in tune with God than he'd like me to be. I can't say that I've ever believed in Satan's power to pull me down personally or that he'd even want to. But the way I have been feeling the past few days is not of God. Of that I'm sure. So bloggy friends, please keep me in your prayers as I try to push through these negative thoughts and feelings in my mind about so many things in my life right now, from running (and running in my mother's honor on October 9th) to writing and telling a story if to no one but myself. I just need to keep my focus on positive and good things.
So that's a few of my random thoughts today. There are many more that constantly stir through my mind, but if I shared them all, I'd never get any laundry done.