Friday, February 5, 2010

Taking Over

I feel here lately that the kids have completely taken over the house.

It's not that I don't want them to feel comfortable here and feel the freedom to truly live in our home. I want them to play and be loud and rambunctious and put their feet up on the coffee table (as long as they're not wearing shoes). However, it would be nice to be able to walk through the living room without finding a Silly Band or a little shoe or a matchbox car.

I know the day is coming - or so I've been told - that I'll miss the sensation of stepping on a Lego when I'm barefoot or picking up every pair of dirty socks from six different locations in the house or finding empty Ritz Bits bags in the corner. But I'm almost ready to experience those days of missing it, mainly cause I want to find out if it's really true - you know, do you really miss your disgusting kids once they aren't disgusting anymore or either don't live under your roof?

I'm just not sure I'm buying into it.

I used to think that little girls weren't as gross as boys. Until I had a little girl of my own. I have found over the past two years that little girls make just as big of a mess in the bathroom if not bigger. Absolutely amazing. When a girl misses the potty, it goes everywhere. Usually when a boy misses the potty, it's just a small puddle on the side of the toilet. How does a little girl miss the potty, you might ask??? By holding her urine so long that it spills out of her before she can sit all the way down... not only does it get everywhere, but it also gets all over her and her clothes.

Madalyn also has this thing about shoes and socks. As soon as she gets in the car from school or from going to the grocery store, the shoes and socks come off. So we always have a collection of shoes in the car. Kinda nice for a life on the go - sometimes. The biggest issue is in the house. Occasionally she makes it inside before stripping off the socks and shoes, and I will find them ALL OVER THE HOUSE. And I don't believe she puts the same socks back on twice in a day. So, for instance, if she has to put her shoes back on two more times in the day, she'll go to her drawer and pull out fresh socks each time. Completely aggravating.

David is simply utterly disgusting. He would absolutely live in a pile of dog poop, I'm convinced. At one point, over the Christmas break, I went into his room to ask him a question, and I was so completely taken aback by the condition of his room that I had to ask him, "Son, does it not bother you to be in this room when it's like this???? Does this not bother you AT ALL???" I think we all know what his reply was.

I feel at a complete loss as to what to do. I guess I could spend my days and nights screaming at them or blowing a whistle and demanding that they live a more pristine life around here. I guess I could take a big black trash bag - construction grade, of course - and put everything I find on the floor scattered about the house inside it and throw it all away. Or I guess I could just continue to deal with it as best I know how and dream of the day that I will miss my kids...

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