Thursday, January 28, 2010

My attempt to not be heavy...

Wow. It just seems my posts have been so heavy lately. Of course, life has been a little heavy lately, so I guess it oozes into the blog posts. So, here's my attempt at a post that's a little less heavy...

My mom is, as I type, on her way to meet with her oncologist to discuss the results of her biopsy taken exactly two weeks ago. It's been so different this time around, or perhaps my memory doesn't serve me right. It just seems that during her first diagnosis, we got results relatively quickly and treatment started within a few weeks. This time around, we are a little over month into the process and don't currently have all the details. In a way, I know that this means this go around is a little less aggressive - the doctors know they have time on their side. However, the other side of me wants them to hurry up and tell her exactly what she's looking up so that I can begin to process it all in my mind. Completely selfish - I am wanting to process it for myself. My mom remains extremely patient, and I remain continuously amazed at her. Completely and utterly amazed and just so blessed to call her my mother.

We are also preparing for my baby girl's burtday (as she says) on Sunday - the big FIVE. Wow. FIVE. It just sounds so old to me. I am continuously amazed by her as well - amazed that she came from me. Amazed that anything so completely alive could come from me. She's unlike anyone or anything I've ever known. She is herself. She is full of love and life and energy and laughter, and lately I find myself watching her during times that she's unaware and trying to find a way to be more like her. I had thought all my life my children would spend their time mimicking me; I guess I never understood that as a parent you see so much in your own child you'd like to mimic.

Baseball has begun, and I am glad. Though it's still a little chilly out, David is in great need of activity. We've been relatively dormant since July, and he's got a ton of energy to get out. And what better place to get it out than on the baseball field. The crack of a bat against a baseball remains one of my most favorite sounds in the whole world. It brings me back to my childhood to the ball park where I watched my brothers play. It brings me back to high school where I went to watch all the cute boys in their baseball pants. And now here I am as a mother watching my little man work his hardest and learn things he'll never forget. I just love it. And I love watching my David play.

So - there you have it. Wasn't too heavy, was it? I tried really hard. I promise. I had to hold back all kinds of things I'd like to say. But I'll save those for another post...

3 comments:

Chelle said...

If you don't put the heavy stuff out there, how are we supposed to help you with the lifting? Hang in there, hon and, I'll be praying for your mom.

Erika said...

hmmmmm, baseball pants! I would go back to one day and watch a game at AUM. Just one day though.

Erika said...

Well, and maybe one makeout session with Mark. ha ha