Today has been a tough day, food decision wise. I mean, it's Halloween and we had a soccer party at DAIRY QUEEN (of all places!!!). Today, when I walked into the DQ, I realized just how good fried food smells. Especially when you know you aren't supposed to eat it. And then I wondered if carbs could be absorbed into the skin and bloodstream via the pores. Probably not, but it really did cross my twisted little mind.
I made good choices. I ate two french fries, and I did lick the excess ice cream off of Madalyn's cone (only because it was on the verge of dripping), and I ordered myself a grilled chicken salad. Note to self and all who read this: Dairy Queen is not so much known for their salads, and now I know why. I looked at my friend sitting next to me when I was finally done picking at the salad and said, "That has to be the single most unsatisfying salad I've ever had in my entire life."
Oh well. I made the right choice for my health, not for the taste buds. If I had made the choice for my taste buds, I'd have chosen the cheeseburger meal and fries and followed up with the Reese's peanut butter cup Blizzard. (Deep breath in, and exhale.) That sounds so good, but the fact that I did what I promised myself I'd do is far more satisfying.
And that's what it's all about... doing what I promised myself I'd do. How many of us simply push those promises to ourselves to the side? Most moms do. We make excuses for ourselves everyday after we've promised to take better care of our self by eating right and exercising or to treat ourselves to something special like a new tube of lipstick or a cute new shirt. There's always an excuse to not do what we've promised ourselves to do... I'm too busy right now, or the kids need this or that. But we don't excuse ourselves so easily when we've promised something to another. We have all stayed up too late baking a batch of cupcakes for the class party or making goody bags for the soccer team. I feel more obligated to everyone else around me than I do to myself. And it's high time I started doing so many of the things I've promised myself.
So, that's what this South Beach experience has turned into for me. Promising myself to make better choices - not the choices that are the easiest, but the choices I will benefit most from in my life. And that's truly a difficult skill to master. It's not just about food, but I've discovered that my relationship with food mirrors other relationships in my life. I tend to do what's easy - I don't want to rock the boat or have to work too hard. And that's a part of me that really needs to change.
I am working. It will be a gradual progression, but I will get to where I want to be... but for today, I just have to make it through Halloween and all it's many treats.