Do you ever stop to wonder while watching your kid do something really aggravating or irritating or horribly bad, "Did I ever behave like that?"
I find myself wondering this quite a bit lately. Probably because I have been around my kids too much and they are beginning to stay on my nerves instead of jumping on and off like they normally do. Especially Madalyn.
She is four. She is silly and loud. She is incredibly demanding and difficult. I just want a break and am ready for preschool to start next week so I can have a few hours of peace every now and then.
The other day, she poured apple juice all over my kitchen table and floor because I was outside vacuuming the pool and wouldn't stop what I was doing to fix her a cup of juice. She tried to do it herself, and I was forced to re-mop the kitchen floor. The very next day, she took my brightly colored orange nail polish and went into her carpeted bedroom to do her nails knowing full well we don't take polish onto the carpet in this house. There are a few spots of orange on the carpet now, but they really do blend nicely with the various shades of pink lip gloss we can't get out. Today she pitched a fit because I was in the tub and she wanted me to help her get her white Easter dress off the hanger and onto her body for no real reason at all. You know, how dare I take a bath and all.
So, to my lovely and patient and darling mother - if I ever followed you into the bathroom while you needed to do a #2 or waited right outside the door and tried to carry on a conversation about Dora the Explorer, I am so sorry. If I ever stole your nail polish and hid it underneath my bed, I apologize for that as well. If I ever took your shoes and declared them to be my own and wouldn't return them to your closet, I guess I owe you an apology for that one, too. I'm sorry if I ever screamed at you or lied to you or aggravated the crap out of you on a day when you had a headache or would just rather be left alone for no reason at all. My bad for all those times I changed clothes fifteen times a day and left them all on the floor so you didn't know what was clean or dirty and you just had to wash it all. The good news, mom, is that if I did all those things to you, I am being paid back ten fold by your granddaughter.
Please accept my sincerest apologies. And it would be nice if you'd remove that voodoo curse you have put upon my motherhood.