Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Firefly Moments

Yep... Summer is officially here. I caught a glimpse of my first firefly on Monday night.

I can remember being a child on Croydon Road in Montgomery, Alabama - all day outside, washing my parents' car (and actually enjoying it), my brothers playing wiffle ball in the front yard, those same brothers pitching the ball to me for hitting practice, me and my best little friend and next door neighbor playing till the sun went down. And I remember fireflies. Right at dusk. The very moment when I couldn't determine whether it was still day or just now night - that's when I'd see that little glow. And then I'd wait for another, waiting to see if it was in my head or real. But it was real and magical.

The firefly is still so magical to me. How is it that a bug - something so gross and ugly to most females of the world - can become something so beautiful for a fraction of a second? I have never understood the firefly, the purpose of the glow, or how it glows. But I have always been in awe of them. When I was little, my next door neighbor would take the glow part off and stick them on her ear like and earring. Honestly, I have never actually touched a firefly, but I must admit that I regret it dearly. Why didn't I capture on in my hand and examine it more closely as a child? I wished I had...

Somewhere along my path, I stopped seeing the fireflies. And then five years ago, when we moved into the this house, my husband and I began to see them every Summer evening. And we commented on how long it had been since we had seen any. And now, every Summer, we see them again and know that it's just a sign of the season change. On Monday, when I first saw that little moving glow, I smiled deep inside. And I must admit that these days I don't have many smiles deep inside. Not many at all. You might see me smile on the outside, but the glow doesn't penetrate down to the core. There's just so much going on right now, and no matter how hard I try to block it all out of my mind, it's always there. I have struggled to see the good in life lately, to say the least. Like I have said before, I know it's there, but just not seeing it. Until that firefly...

I sat there in quiet (well, inner quiet - the kids were swimming, so it was loud, and Scott had walked inside for something) and looked for the glow. I followed it all over the yard. Just a flicker here... oh, there it is there.... another flicker... don't blink cause you might miss it. And then it hit me - really hit me - how much my life is just like that firefly right now. A glimmer here, a glow there. My life may be just a nasty 'ole summer bug right now, but it has these beautiful glowing moments. But the toughest part of all is that if I blink, I just might miss them. If I get so wrapped up in the ugly of the bug, I won't be able to see the miracle of it. And so, there I sat, humbled by my God once again. Completely humbled by my Maker and the bug's Maker, knowing that He knows full well what beauty lies behind me and in front of me. It's just my responsibility to see the beauty of today.

The beauty of today. Times are so tough. Life is so uncertain. Being an adult sure does suck right now. But the little glowing moments are still there. And if I don't stop to take them in, they will fade and fly away just like the firefly. And so I think I'll calm my mind, sit back, and watch for the glow.

2 comments:

Erika said...

I love fireflies too. You can still catch them you know, even though you are an adult. :) We have some type of firefly here that I don't think flies, but walks through the grass, which is cool. The grass lights up with the glow. I think the more you look for good things to come your way and the more you expect them, they will come. Cosmic karma. :)

ctstrickland said...

There are "firefly moments" all around you. Just take the time to see them...Love You!