Monday, April 20, 2009

Busy, Busy Lately

I've just been busy lately. Not with anything fun or important, but just busy. The everyday. Baseball. A little jewelry party at my house. And the laundry... goodness gracious, the laundry! I don't know where it all comes from here lately, but we seem to produce so much more dirty laundry than ever before. Basically, I stay so busy, but at the end of the day, my list is never all crossed off, nor do I feel I have done anything at all. And I'm just exhausted.

I haven't really done anything proactive to help how I feel, either. I'm not eating well. I'm drinking too much. I haven't exercised in I don't know how long. I really need to get a handle on myself and start making some changes in my life to help cope with stress. I know the media is reporting that car sales are up, but they really aren't. We hope that we are at the bottom of the low here with sales and repossessions. What most people don't understand about finance managers in the car business is that they not only get paid for deals done in a month's time but are also charged back the interest and warranty fees for any cars repossessed. So right now, when sales are already down and getting someone approved for a loan is incredibly difficult, our pay check is vastly effected by the immense number of people defaulting on their car loans. This combination has made for the most financially stressful times of my life. And though I try really hard not to allow that stress to show, it's still there. The stress sits right atop my shoulders all day long, day after day. And I feel so helpless to it. I know it's just an earthly stress. I know that in twenty years it will be irrelevant. But right now, it's here staring me in the face every second of the day.

So today I want to start fresh. In fact, I want to try to start fresh and cleansed every day. That's something I have always struggled to do - beginning each day fresh and new. But that's what the morning is, right? A new beginning. A fresh chance to do what I need to do for myself and my family. And the night is the opportunity to refresh. I just need to take better care of myself, and I believe this simple act alone will make me feel better. There's no need to overdose myself with carbs or alcohol - this doesn't make any of life's problems any easier to deal with. I just need to start making better decisions all day long with the food I eat, the decisions I make, and the thoughts I allow to dominate my mind. Out with the worry and in with the peace of God. Out with the bad foods that completely drain my energy and in with fresh foods that provide the energy I need. You get the drill.

So, today, I have my little man home with me today. Saturday evening, he began running a fever and had a horrible headache. Then he yacked. And then Sunday morning, he yacked again. I know this doesn't sound like strep to you or anyone else in the world, but this is what he does every single time he gets it. So I took him to the American Family Care yesterday morning, and though the strep test was negative, the doctor treated like it was positive because of the way his tonsils looked. So we are all home today - sick, but not really sick. Hopefully the kids won't kill each other. Hopefully I won't kill both the kids. And hopefully I can find some time to get my old yoga/pilates dvd out to have some healthy, relaxation time today. And manage to tackle that pile of laundry from the weekend. And get things straightened up a little around the house. And get the pool vacuumed. And run to the drug store.

Deep breath in. In with the good - out with the bad.

2 comments:

Chelle said...

I can almost feel your stress from here. Hang in there and, do try to find at least a little time for yourself after all; if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be in any shape to take care of everyone else.

(((Hugs)))

Steph said...

It's stressful to be home while the husband has to provide for the family ALL BY HIMSELF. I worry about it all the time and then sometimes I feel like my husband is not worrying enough! It's such an uncertain time financically for everyone but I do believe that y'all are under more stress than most right now. I know it must be hard so I won't tell you not to worry! I myself don't know how to not worry! But you are wise to steer clear of all those other things that don't do you any good and maybe even make you worse. God will be your refuge if you seek Him!

By the way, I have a Christian yoga DVD that I really like. It's a pretty decent workout, not great but okay, but it's infused with scripture and I feel much better, even if I just listen to it and don't do the whole workout. It's called Christoga with Janine Turner. It's cheesy but good.

Take care...