I am having a pity party for myself this afternoon, and you're all invited!! Yipee!! What fun!!
I haven't had one in a while - a pity party, that is - so today is as good a day as any. I have just been wresting with God lately. Well, let me rephrase; I am constantly wrestling with God about something, and the current issue is worldly things. I don't know what else to entitle it besides worldly things. They are the things of this world of which I have little or no control (which would be nearly anything, I guess) and that have the potential to cause financial harm. Just all kind of little things. The pool. Unexpected little fees or charges or bills that pop up. And then also falling into the category of worldly things are the unsolicited projects my husband delegates to me.
I don't know which is worse - an unexpected bill or an unsolicited project from Scott? This week's project was boiling peanuts. May not sound like a big freaking deal to some, but do you know anyone who has actually boiled peanuts?? Neither do I. And now I know the reason. All the experts (in other words, the results of my Google search) say that it only takes about three hours to boil peanuts. I strongly disagree. It takes like all day. And it makes a big yucky mess. And it smells up your house if you choose to do it on the stove. If you choose to do it outside (cause see, I've tried it both ways in the past 24 hours), you'll go through an entire tank of propane. You see, Scott had the notion to try to boil peanuts this summer. My family loves some boiled peanuts, and what better snack can you find for beside the pool on a hot summer's day?? Anywho - somehow, the peanut boiling dream got moved up to this weekend. Seems Scott wanted to take a load of peanuts to our first ball tournament. Sounds great, doesn't it?
You know what sounds great to me?? Being the person in this house that gets to dream the stuff up and not actually have to fool with it. Unfortunately, that's not my plight in life. I am the one who gets to wrastle (not wrestle - wrastle) with peanuts for two days in a row. I am the one who won't enjoy a solitary peanut this weekend because I am so freaking sick of peanuts I could scream.
The other worldly issues are just money things. Little things. Little things that add up and make a difference in this frightening time. And my patience is running thin, not that it is ever all that thick anyway. And I am wrestling with God. I am pulling and tugging. I know I have to let go of the worry and utter frustration with life, but today is one of those days that I just don't know how to do it. I am up to my elbows in boiled peanut juice and a pool in the back yard with equipment on the fritz, and I just want to behave like a toddler. Kick and scream. The whole bit. I want to act like Madalyn gets to act all the time.
So today is my pity party day. In honor of the momentous occasion, I am going to take the kids to Dairy Queen and order myself the biggest Reese's peanut butter cup Blizzard on the face of the earth. Heck - I just may order two. Because I can think of nothing I would rather drown my sorrows in than a Blizzard.