Friday, March 27, 2009

The Master Bedroom

I love to clean. You wouldn't always know that by looking at my home, but there is nothing better to me than being in a freshly cleaned home. Picked up and vacuumed floors. A perfectly made bed. A bathroom mirror with no spots of tooth paste or splashes of water. And need I mention the toilet?? Oh, how I love a clean toilet - the seat and the base and behind smelling of bleach.

There is one area of the house that suffers greatly, however - the master bedroom. It always has. I have never felt as obligated to it mainly because it's such a private area. When visitors come, they rarely go into your master bedroom. We don't really hang out in there ourselves. We spend very little time in the room, and I give it very little attention while cleaning. And today, I set out to do it justice. I dusted, and I mean I dusted well. I dusted the lamp shade and pictures and candle holders and even the blades of the ceiling fan. Then I dusted the blinds and the the casing of the windows and the interior of the little arch at the top. I did the baseboards, and I even used the vacuum attachment to get that little space where the baseboard meets the carpet. I moved the little table beside my bed and vacuumed underneath it. I got all the little stuff that had accumulated underneath the bed. I did it right. I felt like the poor room deserved it. I had really deserted it for so long. All because it's an area that no one really sees but me.

If no one sees it, the mess may not really be there.

In the midst of my cleaning rampage, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I treat our master bedroom like I do my spirituality. Not working on some of the things I need to work on because no one really knows but me. Not devoting the time each day for simple maintenance. Waiting until things are so obviously filthy to get in there and do the work. Ignoring it. Putting it off.

I just need to take more time, not only for my bedroom, but for my heart. I need to be cleaning my heart daily, and I am ashamed to admit that I am not. I pray, and I pray often. I have a faith, but I am not sure it's as strong as I need it to be. I believe in the power of God, but I am not always ready and willing to accept it. I dwell a lot in past mistakes. I worry a lot (especially as of late) about tomorrow. And if I could just focus on what needs to be done today, each day, one little day at a time, I don't think I would feel nearly as overwhelmed by life sometimes.

So there's yet another thing to work on. Another area in which I need to grow. Seems like that list gets longer and longer by the minute. Not many things I have perfected yet in this life. Well, except I can definitely clean a toilet perfectly.


Nana's Notes said...

1.Can you please come clean my toilets?
2. Your faith IS growing and you are not even aware.YOU ARE OK!!!God allows mistakes.Don't be so hard on yourself.
3.I love you.

carrie said...

Good post! It is always good to remind ourselves to work on our hearts. One day, we will have hearts as clean as your toilets!

Kristin said...

Oh, Tamara, God loves that you are seeking Him! You are precious to Him, you know?