Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Thank You, American Idol

Just a big shout out of gratitude to the folks at American Idol for doing their Neil Diamond theme last night. I have had one the Davids' rendition of "Sweet Caroline" stuck in my head all day. And that combined with the hour and a half I just wasted trying to get Madalyn to take a nap - well, that's just about enough to drive anyone insane. As if I need any help with going crazy.

I don't know what the deal is lately. I feel like I am sinking into some sort of pit. Pit of despair and doom. I get like this from time to time. Usually when I have had absolutely no time away from my children. And that's pretty much all the time. So, it is just this ever evolving cycle of ups and downs and utter frustration. Have I ever mentioned in any of my previous posts that I am SO GLAD I have been sterilized? I am extremely grateful for the two I have - they are healthy, they are charming (to those they don't live with), they are adorable, the list could go on and on. But they are slowly sucking the life out of me. And no matter what I do, I cannot find a way to deal with this phenomena. I was hoping that taking up the new habit of running would give me that "out." That something that could transport my mind to a higher level of tranquility. But it seems that it just gives me one more thing to get pissed off about because I cannot do it when I want to do it. I have to do it around this one particular child in my home that absolutely cannot be trusted to be alone for more than five solitary minutes. I have to wait until she is napping or while she is away at school. And here lately, both of those are seldom. School is only for four hours two days a week, and the naps have been few and far between.

I am incredibly excited that tomorrow, Scott and I will jet off (well, actually drive - but jet sounded so much more exciting) to Atlanta for the evening to see Bon Jovi in concert. I will be so glad to just get out of this house for a little while, even though it is only for a few hours. And I will put some real clothes on for once - not running clothes, not cleaning the house clothes, not ball park clothes - and look cute and actually have a good time. And I won't have to bathe anyone. No one will put their boogers in my hand (I hope). I will not have to fix a cup of strawberry milk. And no one will call me Mama. Crazy, maybe. But not Mama.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Not once, but twice. That's how many times my precious baby girl got sent to "the office" today at preschool. The first time because the teacher was having an especially rough day with Madalyn not wanting to listen. The second time because Madalyn defiantly told the teacher, "No!" Oh, dear me. I really do not know what to do with her. Of course her teacher added that this isn't her typical behavior at school. But it is still her typical behavior at home. And my biggest fear is that her fear of the unknown outcome of said behavior at school is wearing down, and this might become a very typical behavior all around. I do feel sorry for whoever teaches this child next year. And for all the teachers for the many years to come.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Random Ramblings

Why in the world does Publix insist on putting their cereal on sale for buy one get one free? Especially the sugary types like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Because I never buy cereals like that unless they are on sale at Publix, and then I go home and sit down and eat half the box. Then I am nauseated for the rest of the day. Why don't they ever put things like milk and bread and cheese at buy one get one free?

Madalyn has learned to unbuckle the top portion of the five point harness. We both discovered this while traveling at the speed of 75 mph headed north on I-65. I turned around to see that the top straps were off her shoulders and she was performing some acrobatic move. I went to swipe her leg with my hand, and I must say she has fantastic reflexes, that girl. She can avoid a hand slap in any situation. She doesn't get that from me.

David just walked to school by himself for the first (and probably last) time this morning. He saw the girl across the street, who is in the third grade, walk by and I told him to catch up with her. So I stood in the driveway and watched. She was booking it, and even going as fast as he could go he never caught up to her. See, our back yard backs up to the front yard of the school. We just walk four houses down and there is a sidewalk that goes straight to the side entrance of the school. So I had to walk to my neighbor's driveway to peek and see if he made it to the door. And he did. He is growing up way too fast. I don't think I will let him do that again this year.

That's all the random thoughts of my mind for this morning. This has been a crazy week. We have had baseball every night, I have been cleaning carpets and bathrooms galore, and today I am cutting the grass. I am ready for a day off. Doesn't look hopeful, though.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

He loves me, he loves me not...

Tuesday afternoon was a particularly unpleasant afternoon with the kids. As soon as David got home, he and his sister began fighting. And he was whining about everything. And at one point, he got so angry with me for letting Madalyn look at his book order form because he was so terrified that she would rip it that he ran down the stairs flinging and flailing and just making all kinds of noises and sounds that are just not acceptable in this home. There were other minor things including the thirty minutes he locked himself in his room. And normally I don't allow my children to lock themselves in their room. But at this point, I thought it a good idea because I didn't particularly want to be around him. Madalyn was being her normal high maintenance self, and I had spent the whole day spanking her every time she started to shriek and squeal about anything. I am just not having it anymore. Needless to say, I am a mom on a war path right now.

So here's what I found this morning. And I know that David wrote it Tuesday on the way to practice (after I told my children that I was about ready to put them out on the side of the street - but that's neither here nor there) because he took his clipboard in the car and that's where I found it this morning. I will write it exactly as David penned it with a small amount of translation in parentheses:

The Bad Mom
The bad mom had bin meen a lot.
The bad mom was'int good looking.
The bad mom had bad hear (hair).
The bad was a monster.
The bad mom had a tel (tail).
The bad mom rode on a dirtbike.
The End.
Perhaps I am reading more into it than I should, but I can't help but think he wrote this about me. But at least he still loves me a little. I mean, he's got me riding on a dirt bike there at the end, so he must love me some.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Girl Talk

Ahhh... the delights of my off spring. Especially when the little lady of the house completes every sentence with one of the following words: poop, booger, or butt. What's the deal? I have determined this must just be a developmental phase. The complete fascination with all things disgusting and gross that come from the body. And I don't know why I thought my little girl would be immune from the same fascinations all other children of the world have. But I did. I think I had some misconceptions about what having a little girl would entail.

#1. Pretty bows and beautiful hair. FALSE. Madalyn refuses to wear a bow (or anything in her hair for that matter) 95% of the time. And her hair closely resembles quilting thread.

#2. All would be clean and tidy and lovely all the time. FALSE. Madalyn literally sat and played in a pile of rocks and sand last night at ball practice. And when she attempted to touch the newborn baby of another mother there, and I told her that she could not because her hands were dirty, she looked at me and said, "No they're not. They not dirty."

#3. Girls have an innate sense of what is pure and lovely. FALSE. FALSE. FALSE. They don't care. They still talk about boogers and poots and poopy and butts the same as little boys. And it is just a horrible experience when you witness the precious apple of your eye saying such words and making sound effects to go along with them.

But there is certainly one thing that remains true about little girls, no matter how vile they speak or how dirty they get. If I offered Madalyn five rubber bouncy balls (or any other object, for that matter), all of different colors with one being pink, she will almost always pick the pink one. Especially if it has glitter in it or on it. There is still hope.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Bad Mom

This morning, after our long weekend of not thinking about school (because we were out of school Friday, so why think about school?), I open up David's back pack to prepare him for the day. Sign the conduct folder, put in today's snack, check to see what day that reading group homework is due. Oh, crap!! It's due today!! And me, being the piece of crap mom I am, I have forgotten all about it. And you know how it goes at the ripe old age of six. The teacher may say it is the child's responsibility to remember when their assignments are due, but how many six year olds do you know that stop on Saturday morning in the middle of Sponge Bob and say, "I better get on that homework because it's due on Monday"? Certainly not mine. And it is a little aggravating, the homework and all. Not that we have much of it, but we just have things that take a while to do.

So, this morning, I break it to David that I have forgotten about his homework. But I say that we can at least sit down and start it and that I would email his teacher to explain that I forgot all about it and it is really my fault. In David's reading group, they are reading the Magic Treehouse books, and they go one chapter at a time and take turns with various jobs for each. This week, we had the word wizard task, which is thankfully the easiest of all. You select five words from the chapter, write the page number it is found on, and then write what you think the word means. To me, this process seems quite sophisticated for six. But the majority of the things these first graders do today seems way more sophisticated than the things I remember doing at that age. Anyway, he was able to complete the assignment this morning with ease. So I told him as we were packing his stuff in his back pack that no one would ever know he did it this morning. That it doesn't matter when you do it as long as it's done on time. And I thought to myself as we headed out the door, "It feels so good to pass on the torch of procrastination."

Friday, April 18, 2008

Weather Day

How ironic that we are out of school today for a built in weather day that has remained unnecessary. I think today promises to be the most beautiful day of the year thus far.

I am listening to my children play with the "hokey-tokey". That's Madalyn speak for walky-talky. I don't know what is going on with Madalyn's foul mouth lately, but the term butt has become her favorite. And it's not that the word butt is all that bad, but there are just so many other terms that sound more, well... lady like. Like hiney, rear end, glutomous. I don't know... anything but the word butt. It's not even a word I use. I get made fun of by all the adults around me for saying hiney. I know she gets it from the evil, satanistic Sponge Bob. But what am I supposed to do? Give up the tv time because of the term butt? So frustrating. So minor, but still so aggravating.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Just Plain Nasty

One thing I have learned from my many, many hours at the ball park over the past two years is that people are just generally nasty in spirit. They are dishonest. They are completely disrespectful of one another. They are manipulative. They are jealous. And they pass all these lovely traits down to their children by way of their example. And to think, my son is only six. How many more years of nastiness will we have to endure? Countless.

As you might deduce from the previous comments, we had a game last night. And we won. We beat our rival team from last year, and I silently gloated because I do have a small amount of class. But that was after a parent (or grandparent - I couldn't really tell which he was) from the other team commenced to allow me to copy his entire batting order which was incorrect. The thing is, he knew it had been changed at the last minute, and when I politely asked him if I could copy his order, he smugly replied, "Uh huh." Without ever once saying that it was incorrect. It sounds so minor, but it's just plain common courtesy that should be afforded form one adult to another. Don't allow me to write something down for my coach that you know to be wrong. And this is the same team that when one of our players hit a home run (by errors, of course, cause in tee ball it's nearly impossible to have a home run any other way), the coaches tried to say that he didn't touch first base. Just a lie. Because last time I checked, there's no instant replay in little league tee ball. And if he didn't touch first base, then why didn't someone say something immediately instead of well after he had touched home plate. I assure you, there was enough time to point it out as the ball was being over thrown and missed between nearly every infielder. You know, I get excited about my son playing ball. I'll admit, I cheer for him and get excited when our team makes good plays. But I do hope that my actions are reflective of the manner an adult should act at the ball park. And I just can't put into words some of the attitudes I have seen from some of the nastiest of people. And it trickles down to the kids. During our first game of the season, the one we lost so bad, the first baseman of the opposing team was telling all our kids as they got to first base things like, "You are the worst hitter," and "You can't catch the ball." Now that may not sound like much to an adult, but to a group of six year old boys that are playing their first game of the season, those words could really get to you. I was floored. Trash talking - from a six year old little boy. And where do you suppose he learned that behavior? Hmmm. I wonder.

I just hope I am teaching both my children grace, dignity, and humility. I figure if you win with humility and lose with dignity, that is the sign of a great spirit. But from the looks of the spirits at the ball park, there ain't alot of that going on in my fair city.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Baby Soft Skin

Well, I feel a little better after leaving my appointment today with the dermatologist. He froze the second area, and he looked over my back, shoulders, arms and stomach. There was nothing else that looked suspicious. He also reassured me that most precancerous areas on the skin never turn into skin cancer. They just don't know which ones will, so they go ahead and remove them all to be on the safe side. So I feel better this time. Granted, I will have to be very careful. But shouldn't we all?

And the added benefit - my whole nose will be smooth as a baby's rear.

Monday, April 14, 2008

What was I thinking????

On Saturday, we went down and spent the day with my mom. We had lunch where my brother works and then headed to Target because I needed to pick up a few things. One item we needed was band aids. I decided to let the kids pick out two kinds. David picked out Sponge Bob (who I believe to be the devil himself, just yellow) and Madalyn picked out Disney Princess. We have already gone through nearly half the box of princess band aids in two days time. Every time she falls, which is quite frequently, she believes she needs one. "I got bleed," she'll say, pointing to non-existent bloodied scrapes. We have gone round and round this morning and it's only nine.

What was I thinking???? Shouldn't I know better by now????

Friday, April 11, 2008


Well, another booty kickin' on the tee ball field last night. Let me clarify; we did the kickin'. Thank goodness. Scott and I are totally amazed at the talent these little rug rats have. And they are so serious about it. It is really the cutest thing ever. So, after the game, we indulged in some good old fashioned ball park concessions. Hot dog, french fries, fountain drinks, and $0.75 ring pops. Who could ask for more. And I stood there, watching my kids run around like savages, their lips all stained various colors from candy and snow cones, and I thought to myself, "Dear God, who have I become?" For goodness sakes, I am the freaking team mom for my son's tee ball team. My daughter spends more time at a baseball practice or field than she does at home. We are living the American dream. A little scary, isn't it?

Anywho - my throat is and endless stream of snot. And my right eye is completely bloodshot from me scratching the mess out of it last night. Spring has definitely sprung. And so have the seasonal allergies. And sitting in the midst of it all the time is getting to me. Good news is that this spring it seems like we will get more rain than last year, and that always helps to wash away the pollen and make things fresh again. Right now, I would really love to cut my nose off completely with all the trouble it is giving me all around. But that wouldn't be all that attractive. So I think I will wait it out and see if any of my issues clear up before taking such drastic measures.

So, today promises to be a boring day. And I like it! We are scheduled for a game tonight, but it doesn't look like the weather will cooperate for this one. Great. That's just more work for this team mom. Reorganizing and reminding the troops of all their duties. I don't know what I was thinking when I volunteered, but I don't think it was a complete thought.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

100th Post

Well, here's my 100th post. It won't really be any different from any other post I have done. I will talk aimlessly about what is going on in my life. A hand full of people will read it. And I will go to bed tonight and wake up all the same tomorrow. No balloons. No parades. No paid sponsors for my blog. No fame in the bolgosphere. But that's okay with me. I only outed myself three weeks ago to my neighbor. Until that point, not even my husband knew about my blogging habit. He just doesn't get it, the whole blog thing. So, why even attempt to explain it? I have really utilized this little spot to vent frustrations and journal my life. To actually use my brain a little. And it has been fun and therapeutic and nice to see what is going on in some old friends' lives. So here's to the next hundred.

On a different note, I have to talk about my nose. The area that he froze back three weeks ago did just as expected. It blistered up, scabbed over and then all peeled off. And the skin underneath was beautiful. I commented to my husband that it was the smoothest my nose had felt in years. But now, I have an area just to the left of the original one. And it is flaky and peeling and bleeding and gross. And I am a little scared. I have tried to deny the fact that it was starting again for about the past week and a half. But this morning I called and made another appointment with the same dermatologist. I really didn't like his bedside manner, but I would rather go back to the same person who treated the original case. I just don't know what to think about it all. I can already tell some of the lessons I need to learn from it. But that doesn't take away the fear that I won't be alright. I just want to know exactly what this is and why my nose keeps doing this. So, I go next Tuesday morning. And I know it seems so minor and superficial, but it is scary when you know your body is doing something so abnormal. And every time you see yourself in the mirror, you are reminded of it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Good Stuff All Around

Well, things are looking up around here. The neighbors' baby finally came home yesterday (and I got to hold him!). Scott's grandmother had her surgery yesterday, and all went better than expected. Granted, now she has to recover, which is the toughest part of open-heart surgery. But she was under and on bypass for such a short amount of time that hopefully her recovery will not be as difficult. And we won our tee ball game last night 22-7. Hallelujah! The boys were so excited. And even the ones who had never played before and don't really have a clue what is going on knew that this was something to get excited about.

We are very busy this week with tee ball. Two of our games scheduled for last week were cancelled due to rain, and we will make them up this week. So we play three times this week total. Of course, one of those games will surely be cancelled. That's just the way this crazy weather is this spring.

One more piece of fabulous news and then I must go clean my house (something I have been neglecting as of late). Poison is coming to the Verizon amphitheater in July, and we are so excited. I know Erika is laughing at me right now. And anyone else that is actually reading my blog. Scott and I went to see them two years ago, and it was such a fun show! It's all these great songs from the early nineties that everyone would remember. And really I was so impressed that it was a relatively clean show. It's just something fun and different to do. And I definitely need something to get me out of this crazy house every now and then. Okay - gotta go do my housewifely duties. There's plenty to do today!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

What is going on around here???

My children just don't even need to be in the same room with one another right now. They cannot make it through ten minutes without screaming, screeching, squealing, and way-laying on each other. What the heck is going on around here? I just wanted to get on the treadmill this morning. Just thirty measly minutes. Seems reasonable to me, but I am a somewhat reasonable person, unlike my children who appear lately to be beastly savages that believe they must fight to the death for everything. Around minute fifteen, Madalyn comes in crying and I don't even really know what she said because she was whining and the noise of the treadmill somewhat drowned her out. Maybe I should stay on the treadmill all the time so that I could drown out the noise my children create. Hmmm... Anyway. I sent her on her way, explaining that all I wanted was thirty minutes. I would be done in fifteen. LEAVE ME ALONE. By the time I was done, I could hear, over the noise of the THS: The Kardashians special on the television and the treadmill, Madalyn screaming at the most awful decibel level I have ever heard, not to mention the pitch of the scream as well. Then David chimes in. He has become a whiny, blubbering mess lately, and I am not quite sure what that is all about. And it is over nothing. Nothing at all.

Then I just want to take a bath. Just a bath. Everyone does it (or should) everyday. It is one of the most basic principles of life, right next to eating and sleeping and using the bathroom. But there is nothing holy and sacred in this house anymore. There is no time that my children ever stop and think, "I'll bet my mom really doesn't want to be bothered with trivial tattling at this juncture." Oh, no. Whatever the apparent foul, they must come right away and report the misdoings. So, I was about to shave my legs, and in comes the oldest, acting as if he were the one that was three. He is weeping and gnashing of teeth about the fact that his sister, that weighs a good twenty pounds less than he, just kicked him. Now, I know that she is a mean one, but she is also little and one kick could not hurt enough to necessitate disturbing the ritual of bathing. At this point, I asked him, "Are you bleeding? Do you need a doctor? If not then GET OUT OF HERE!!" I mean seriously. I am here all the time. It is not as if my children are away form me for long periods. Heck, they are never away from me except for school. They have plenty of other opportunities to talk to me outside the bathroom and when I am off the treadmill.

Okay. I feel better. I got it all off my chest. And, as you might imagine, David has been in here peering over my shoulder five times since I started writing. He wants me to play checkers. That's fine. I will play checkers. But I will not let him win today.

Friday, April 4, 2008

In Honor of My Best Friend

I have known my dearest friend for 24 or 23 years. Can that be right? We met in the second grade at Alabama Christian Academy where we were a part of a new idea - the combined class. So, in a way, we were trendsetting rebels form the very beginning. Because we were both so brilliant and always finished our work too quickly, we became fast friends. We were always competitive with one another, whether it be grades or laps at the jog-a-thon. I remember one year at the annual awards day, after counting our certificates, I realized that she had one more than me. I think she got the one for perfect attendance that year, and it pushed her ahead of me. Why my mind remembers that, I am not sure, but that just demonstrates the nature of our friendship from the beginning.

As we grew, our friendship did mature. And through it all - moves to different states, bad boyfriends, disappointments, a failed marriage (my first - not hers)), fresh starts, babies - we grew closer. No amount of miles can come between us. There is nothing we cannot say to one another. Sometimes, we need not say it at all; we know what the other is thinking. She is the closest thing I have to a sister. And today, I want to wish her a happy birthday and tell her that I love her dearly!!!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Two posts in one day - a little self indulgent, I know. But everyone will love this one. I just got off the phone with my mom and she informed me that it is my grandparents' anniversary today. They have been married 72 years. Everyone take a breath.

72 years.

A few years ago, while visiting with my grandmother, she told me the story of how my grandfather wasn't the man she wanted to marry. She was a little sweet on his brother, but someone thought she should marry my grandfather. And so she did. At the ripe old age of sixteen. I know things have changed, but I cannot imagine getting married at the age of sixteen. And then staying married for 72 years. They must love each other. But is it the kind of love that young girls dream of these days? I hardly think so. She didn't marry for love - you just didn't really do that back in the days of the old, poor south. But she said that she grew to love him over time.

Wow. 72 years.

Sad Stuff

It just seems like there are so many sad things going on right now. First off, my neighbors had their baby early last week, and though the baby is fine (he is still in the NICU, but progressing well and breathing on his own) he was unable to come home with mom yesterday. I know that is always a sad time for a new mom who has literally been attached to a baby for nine months and then has to relinquish control to a team of nurses. Pray for my neighbors as they cope with this disappointment and for little baby Micah to continue doing well so he can join his family at home soon.

Also, a little girl in David's class at school has lost her mother to lung cancer. What makes this seem even more tragic is that she is a triplet. So three first graders lost their mother over the weekend. It is hard to comprehend the impact this loss will have on these three young children. I can't get it out of my head. I try to imagine not having a mom through my early years and then into my teens. The situation is truly heartbreaking. Pray for this family as well, for their loss and for the many years to come that it will take to deal with such a tragedy.

There is also a little boy (I believe he is nine) that lives in our neighborhood and goes to the same school as David who has just been diagnosed with some form of cancer of the tissue. As of right now, they believe it to be only in one spot on his arm, but he will have to begin chemo next week. I absolutely cannot comprehend childhood cancer. It makes absolutely no sense to me, and I really can't think about too long because it upsets me. Please pray for this family.

And last, Scott's grandmother, who just months ago suffered the loss of her dear husband, has a major blockage in her heart and due to the location, the doctors want to perform open heart surgery. She is devastated. They are planning to go for a second opinion, but it will still be a huge decision to make. The entire family wonders if she is strong enough to deal with such a major physical trauma.

I guess in the midst of all this, I am so thankful that my children are healthy and my family is well. My mom told me that a lady at work was asking how the grand kids were doing, and she replied that they were into everything and staying in trouble. The woman replied, "Well, at least that means they're healthy. When they are getting in trouble, you always know they are feeling good." And she's right. My children drive me up the wall - all the way to the top. But, they are well. And I am thankful.