I thought I would give a little update on my endeavor to lose weight with the Weight Watchers program. I must say that it has been a success. To date, I have lost seven pounds. That's a lot of weight when you think about it in terms of ground beef or bacon. Probably shouldn't have used such a fatty food reference when referring to my personal weight loss. But it does seem appropriate.
Anywho - seven down, fifteen more to go. I know that sounds like a ton of weight for me to lose when I am only a size 8. But most of my fat that has developed in the past few years is around the middle. I would credit the bulk of it (no pun intended there, I assure you) to my aversion to anything healthy during my pregnancy with Madalyn. No meat - it made me nauseated just to look at it. By the end of the pregnancy, I was so desperate to eat hot wings and like them again that I just ate them anyways, knowing full well that I would suffer in the end. I stood at the kitchen counter weeping about the fact that I didn't even enjoy the simplest of things because of the pregnancy. Hormones. Gotta love 'em. I didn't want salad or any vegetable, for that matter. So I lived primarily off of cereal (all kinds) and Little Debbie snack cakes. Oh - and powdered donuts. I particularly loved the powdered donuts in the Walmart bakery that came in a little plastic tub. They were just loaded up with powdered sugar, and when I had eaten all the donuts in the package, I would take my finger and eat all the powdered sugar left in the bottom of the tub. I am surprised I didn't enter into a diabetic coma during the last trimester. That was the true miracle of pregnancy to me. I remember eating my last container of donuts a day or so before Madalyn was born, and I vividly recall thinking I would never be able to enjoy them ever again. And I was right. I still can't stand to see them in my pantry. And when the kids want doughnuts, I strongly encourage them to get the chocolate covered kind because I don't have overwhelming urges to eat the entire bag full in less than five minutes.
I also had ths passion for Little Debbies. Every kind. I would buy them four at a time so I always had a variety. And of course I had to hide them on top of the refirgerator so that David wouldn't want to eat them all. I would have to be so discreet. If he heard the rattle of those wrappers he would find me and say, "What are you eatin', Mama?" And I definitely did not like to share. I will never forget the night Scott pulled down my basket form the top of the refirgerator and asked David if he wanted one. I was mortified. My own husband had outed me. Anyway - between the countless number of powdered doughnuts and Little Debbies and all the cereal, the weight from the pregnancy settled right around the middle. Not in my boobs, of course, because that would be flattering and desirable. Just right around my middle where your jeans button and the fat spills over.
So these are the pounds I am trying to lose. And the pounds I gained when I decided to try to be a runner and eat like a runner when I wasn't burning as many calories as a real runner would. So seven down. And I am feeling the difference. Things are beginning to feel better. The biggest difference, I would say, is in my hands. When I am eating a lot of crap - sugar and carbs, all the stuff I LOVE - my body retains a ton of water. And I always feel that in my hands and fingers in the form of tightness around the wedding band. My hands are feeling better, my waistline is getting smaller, and I do feel better.
I am still hungry all the time. But I am not nearly as grumpy about it. Food has become more of a priviledge to me, if that makes any sense. I get excited when it is time to eat instead of just eating whenever I want to. And I feel like that is a healthier way to live. But I do miss some things. I miss cheese. I didn't realize how much I loved cheese until I just decided it wasn't worth it to me. I don't like fat free cheese, and the reduced fat is still too many points, so I have pretty much eliminated it. Yesterday I had the brocolli, cheese, and rice casserole at lunch, and I sat there and just looked at the cheese like a long lost friend. And peanut butter - I do miss my peanut butter. I am an adult that could still eat a PB&J sandwich every day for lunch. And I love a good peanut butter and banana sandwich as well. But the first time I figured the points on those, I realized my relationship with peanut butter would have to change as well. These are the decisions you have to make. Especially when you know you are not giving up your Captain Morgan Private Stock with Diet Coke. He will still be in my diet, in moderation (of course) for multiple reasons. If that's my worst indulgence in this crazy world, I guess I am doing alright.
Here's to fifteen more pounds!!