Thursday, September 4, 2008

Serious Mental Issues

My mental issues display themselves in various ways. Some people may shake or talk to themselves (well, I do talk to myself, but not in a crazy way). My abnormal behaviors usually involve cleaning - specifically toilets - and the latest demonstration is in the way I cut the grass.

When I cut the grass, it is all about the lines. First, I have to remember which way the lines ran the time before, and I have to do something different. Once I have picked the arrangement for the lines and outlined the entire yard with a couple of rows, I am set to begin my craziness that is PERFECT FREAKING ROWS IN THE GRASS. Why do I do this? Why does it matter if the rows are straight? If I find that a section which should be straight up and down the slope of the front yard is getting a little sideways, then I have to correct it. Today, I cut the back yard, and I went up and down in the back and then went diagonal in the back corner and worked the diagonal into straight up and down on the sides. Someone please stop the madness in my head!!! Someone please take the lawnmower away from me!!!

Now that I think about it, I do the same thing when I vacuum. Perfect little rows of pulled up carpet pile. Nothing could be better. And I have already discussed my absolute obsession with the toilet. I cleaned my master bathroom toilet last night, and the rest of the bathroom for that matter, and I just love to stand back when I am done and look at my handy work.

Do I need help? Am I sick and twisted? And why do the lines in the grass bother me, but I can pile a week's worth of clothes in the floor and it does not effect me in the least bit?

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