Wow. I just got back from a three mile walk, and I do believe that is just what my soul needed. Three miles of just me - no kids, no football, no milk cups to be filled. Me and my music in my ears and the breeze and the sunshine. And I feel like I could climb a mountain. My juices are flowing, my blood is pumping, and I feel alive.
Do we see a drastic change 24 hours have made? I think I need psychiatric help, but that is a whole other matter.
Today was the first exercise I have done in six weeks. For six weeks, I have not so much as walked around the block. For those of you that do not recall, about seven months ago, I got the fabulous notion that I should try to become a runner. I started running on the treadmill and worked me way up from less than half a mile to three miles in a matter of a few months. I ran my first race - a 5K, which is 3.1 miles. But the injuries came with full fury. Bursitis in the heels had me side lined for three weeks, then my back for four weeks, and most recently my shin for the past six weeks. Needless to say, I decided to give up the dream of running a few weeks ago. But now my shin is healed, and I am ready to get back out there and get my heart pumping again. With walking.
I am a person who needs to exercise. I tend to be a slightly moody person. I have issues with depression and anxiety. And then there's the fibromyalgia. And exercise helps with all these things immensely. Immensely. I have always enjoyed walking - much more so than running, I must add. At no point today did I feel like I was going to lay down in the street and die (that was a common belief in my brain while running). At no point today did I think to myself, "If I can just make it to that stop sign, I can take a break. Okay maybe just to that mail box." I walked the three miles at a relatively brisk pace (it took me about 45 minutes), and I did sweat and get breathless. But I knew that I would make it home without crawling, and I actually enjoyed my time. Thank God. I think I have discovered something through all the injuries and pain and sweat and tears - I am not a runner, but I can certainly walk.
So I feel better for now. But in a couple of hours, I will retrieve Madalyn from school, and then David, and then I will have to go to football practice. But at least I got 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to immerse myself in my thoughts. I think I will do it again tomorrow.