Friday, August 29, 2008

Fan Club

It appears I have a new reader. My dad. Seems slightly weird in light of my post yesterday, but whatever. He knows I am female and therefore must visit the gynecologist from time to time. So it shouldn't have been too shocking for him. But still...

When I began blogging, I didn't tell anyone. Except for Erika who had been begging me for years to do something online - MySpace, blog, email - anything, really, to catapult myself into the age of technology. I tried the MySpace thing, and some virus hacked my computer and shut it down. Finally, I caved in to the peer pressure and created my blog. If nothing else, it would be a great way to reconnect with a few old high school friends and give me another excuse to not do housework. So, I didn't tell my husband, my neighbor, my mom - no one. And there are still people around me that don't know about my blog. Scott now knows, but he has no clue what a blog is or what you do with a blog. Nor does he care. I had to tell my neighbor when she created her own blog and coincidentally chose the same format and color scheme I have. Slowly but surely, I have been outed, either by myself or others. Which leads me to the following story...

Last Sunday, while at church, my parents were in conversation with someone who will remain anonymous so as to protect her- I mean, their - identity. She mentioned having read something in my blog about the novel, The Shack. To which my parents responded, "Blog. What blog?" The seal was broken. Enter parents.

It is not that I care that my parents read this blog. I don't say anything that I should be ashamed of or that I wouldn't want them to read. Although, I did write a post about my mom telling me the truth about Santa too soon, so I would like to get that out in the open. (Sorry, mom - it bothers me still that I was so young and you didn't try to keep the dream alive for longer, but I am okay and will only need a few more months of intense therapy to deal with the pain.) I guess I feel some sense of privacy and anonymity while writing here. Like I am back in 1993 writing in my little legal pad about my latest heart ache at the hand of some undeserving boy. This place has become my journal, only I forget that its contents are open for the entire world to read. Not that the world is at all interested, but the possibility is there that anyone with access to the computer can read about yesterday's trip to the gynecologist. Can I possibly find another excuse to type that word?!?

Anyway. I am an open book. Or an open blog, whichever phrase you choose. My life is incredible in so many ways. I am so blessed with a beautiful family and all the things I need and more. But I am incredibly internal and deep, and those thoughts need somewhere to go. So they regurgitate themselves here. And hopefully I don't scare anyone. Hopefully I don't come across too cynical or ungrateful at times. And hopefully I won't gross out my dad too when I talk about the gynecologist.

4 comments:

RKO said...

There is nothing you could ever say or do to "gross out" your dad. I know him and he loves you unconditionally just as you are and he always will. You are a very talented writer and I hope you continue to be frank and honest with your thoughts and share them. The world is a better place because of you.

Rebecca said...

Don't ever change anything about your blog. I love reading each post because they are always interesting or funny or a combination of the two. You are such a good writer!
(I shared with some of my co-workers certain quotes from your blog about the gyno. TOO FUNNY!)

RunnerMom said...

Hi! I just started reading your "evil twin" blog. Love it!

My blog started out as kind of a journal like this but my obsession with running overtook it. I also had a bad experience with a friend (now ex-friend) who misread something and got all offended and then caused lots of problems for me. Now I'm afraid to really express myself, so I generally limit posts to running-related items. It makes me sad, really.

I applaud you for putting it all out there and being so open. I know what a wonderful outlet it can be. You definitely have a writer inside you!

Erika said...

I wonder who that was that told your parents? *Whistles as she looks to the sky*