Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Somebody make me a double...

What a day, what a day, what a day!!! Two parties in one day is a bit much for anyone to handle. One at the preschool with eight two year olds eating cheetos and playing "Pin the Jesus on the Manger" (seriously - I wish I were joking). The other with eighteen first graders rotating between four different craft tables. Somehow, I got stuck on the most difficult table - probably because I am a novice at this, this being my eldest child. I was at the table making Christmas cards. Doesn't sound that involved, right? It wouldn't have been except these cards were made by either making a Santa out of a hand print or three reindeer faces made from thumbprints. Oh, did I mention the craft paint? Four different colors of it. Oh, and the little tiny reindeer noses and googly eyes we had to glue on one by one. Multiply that by eighteen, and I think you get a double shot of Captain Morgan (Private Stock, of course) mixed with a little Diet Coke. Hopefully I can hold off until eight tonight when the kids are safely tucked in. To be determined.

And I do have a little confession to make. Our preschool is a little - this may sound a little funny, seeing as it is a church and all, but - hyper-religious. We are not allowed to even mention anything secular about Christmas. No Santa, no Rudolph. You can do reindeer, because they are animals, but no reindeer with red noses. Seriously. We got this lenghty memo after Halloween this year and they went through each holiday one by one and explained specifically what is acceptable and what is not. For instance, Halloween. Spiders, cats, bats, and pumpkins are acceptable because they are made by God. But jackolanterns, ghosts, and witches are not. You get the drift. So at Christmas, they really try to emphasise the birth of Jesus, which I think is wonderful. Please do not get me wrong. But there is something that feels a little strange, and perhaps slightly sacrilegious to me about playing "Pin the Jesus on the Manger" and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. It just feels weird to me. But they try to make it fun for the kids and still put the emphasis on Jesus. So - here's my confession -I was in charge of the cake. Just a simple sheet cake large enough to put the little plastic nativity scene on it. So, the assistant director came around passing out the little nativity figurines to each class and we got stuck with the clear one. It took five minutes for me to figure out who was who and where I should place them. And I thought the baby Jesus looked a little strange, but like I said, they were small and clear plastic, so they all looked a little weird. So I got them all on and we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and I started to take all the figurines off the cake and realized the reason why baby Jesus looked so strange was because he was upside down. I had put poor little baby Jesus, peacefully asleep in the manger, face down in Classic White Pillsbury frosting. I am already a person with little faith in my personal salvation. I really didn't need the Jesus incident. I just thought for a split second that it would surely be a strike against me. But then I realized that it really didn't matter seeing as I was the only person in the room that realized he was upside down anyway. I feel certain at this juncture that the good Lord has forgiven me for much worse than that.

But you know, there is something about preschool moms that just scares me. I feel certain that they are hanging on my every word, waiting on me to say something that doesn't quite fit the "No Santas Allowed" preschool. Like today, me and two other moms were discussing our children and I said something like Madalyn is way more mischievous than David ever was. And then I said, "Don't get me wrong - David gets on my nerves..." And seriously, one of the moms gasped. Not a good gasp, but a mouth wide open gasp with her eyes about to pop out of her head. I wanted to tell her that I had pushed his practically nine pound body out of a rather small area of my anatomy and that gives me every right in the world to say that he gets on my nerves. But I opted not to go there in the midst of the b'day party for Jesus and redeemed myself by saying, "Well, he just talks so much." With this, she gave me the nod of approval. It just gripes me how condescending other moms can be sometimes. And I really try to be the most accepting person I can be to everyone because I cannot stand to feel judged by others. I never want someone else to feel judged by me. I mean, come on - I am a woman who likes a cocktail from time to time. And I have no problem with saying so. My kids get on my nerves, sometimes I yell at them, I don't go to church as much as I should, I don't volunteer as much as I could at my kid's school because I really don't want to be around those kids all the time, I don't kiss the rear ends of any other moms or my children's teachers. What you see is what you get with me. But every now and again, I will let my personal insecurities get the better of me and think that my personal success as a mom is dependant on how I compare to the other moms around me. And today was one of those trying days. But, I think I made it though another year of Christmas parties a wiser and better mom.

I certainly learned my lesson about craft time. Choose your craft table wisely.

1 comment:

Erika said...

Maybe you should wear a t-shirt next time that says, "Judge not, lest you be judged." Seriously, if that woman's kid doesn't get on her nerves sometimes then she is WAY more medicated than we are! UGH, "perfect" parents bug me to NO end.