I can hardly believe that yet another year has come and gone. And, oh, what a year it was! Full of many great blessings, of course, but full of many challenges as well. I must be frank - I am glad to see this year come to a close. And I don't know why I hang on to the belief that indeed it is a fresh start. But it only seems logical, you know, that with a new year comes a new beginning of sorts. That this year, I will get it right. I will yell less at my kids, I might enjoy the little moments more, or that I will somehow perfect the little imperfections of me. I guess one can dream...
I hate resolutions. Mainly because I truly suck at keeping them and then I just feel guilty and disappointed in myself and that makes me want to eat more, which usually a part of my resolutions for the year is to eat less. I am sure you get my point despite the rambling nature of the thought. And thus the vicious cycle continues. This year I just want to keep it simple with my goals. Scott and I set our family goal as going to church more. This will be the most difficult for us, not because we are heathens or anything. But the nature of my husband's job is difficult, and the only day he is guaranteed off a week is Sunday. And often times, we find ourselves wanting to relax on that day and not have to get up and get dressed and have anywhere specific to be. And Scott likes to go to the 9:30 service, and that's just really not up my alley to be up and at 'em and ready for show at that hour of the morning. I mean, I am always up and moving by that time, but not very attractive. So we have both agreed that this will be our commitment - to take our children to church as much as possible. And I know that we can do it, but I will have to take the reins and have everything ready on Sunday mornings.
My personal goal is to just relax. This year has been so stressful. Money, sickness, surgery, money, money, money.... I just want to sit down and take a breath and realize that all the stuff of life doesn't matter. Accept myself for who I am and where I am, physically, spiritually, mentally. I want to just enjoy life more, instead of rushing here and there and making sure every little thing is just so. Compare myself to others less, live for myself a little more, stop analyzing as much. I thought I said I was keeping my goal simple.
I want to just relax. Trust and know that the good Lord above has it all in his hands and he actually knows what he's doing, unlike us people down here who can find a way to screw up anything. I feel like if I could trust more, relax more, strengthen my faith, that everything else will fall into place. And I think I am fooling myself by thinking that this is a simple thing to do.